Enjoying Life OVERCOMING THE CHALLENGES OF LIFE WHILST ENJOYING THE JOURNEY

Today I decided to try and fit a weeks worth of errands in. Silly me! Have I not learned by my misakes.
One of the things I have had to learn to change is my head. What I mean is, years ago, I could do groceries, go to the library, visit a friend, then go home and cook and then etc etc etc…. After I realized something was not right with my body, that it was fighting food allergies ( some I still am clueless about!), and that I had this annoying spinal/immunity disease, I made myself slow down. After crying out to God to pleeease change it all, he simply said, ” My grace is sufficient for you.”
Huh? Did I hear right God? No no, you have it wrong, I need it gone, and now, please! That was my constant conversation with almighty God. For those who think this is mighty disrespectful, I am sorry. I love God and I talk to him as I would a friend, in a respectful way.

Years have gone by and I can see how God has slowly helped me to accept and to embrace the attitude, ‘It is what it is!’. I know I have had to slow down. I don’t get to do a lot of what my friends can handle. It’s easy to get depressed. Sometimes I am not able to go to my writer’s meeting because I had to do something else that HAD to be done. Sometimes I have to simply let things go. Sometimes I have to say no to seeing a friend, who I dearly want to see. It is a process of changing what my mind says things should be like.

Today I know I went back to the ‘old me’ as during my visit to Costco…. something really silly happened. I was at the teller and I walked to the ‘wrong’ side, where the check out lady was. She stared at me curious as to why I would be on her side. I walked to the other side and realized that things seemed really dim. I was faint- a consequence of doing too much, not listening to God and my body, and mistakenly eating food I had no idea contained the wretched gluten.

I left Costco ( and had someone run after me to bring me my card, which I had left at the counter ) feeling rather sorry for myself and feeling rather stupid.

Needless to say, I came home, re-lived the whole thing in my head and decided that next time I knew my body was in this mode ( of pain and diziness ) I would just simply stay home.

I am grateful though for many things, grateful and thankful that I didn’t have an accident. Thankful that I did manage to get some things done ( there I go again, having to do what is on the list, regardless!! ).

I am very thankful that I didn’t do what I have done before, walk right into the mens toilet/washroom.

See, there is ALWAYS something we can be thankful for – so today, I am counting my blessings!

Okay, This is the picture we took after we arrived home. She wore a smile from ear to ear that didn’t wear off until the evening:) And all because I gave her my full attention for the day. our time together.

I have to be honest and say that the only way I can parent five children, is to stay committed to that one on one time, ‘special time’ as they call it. Sometimes I ‘make’ myself do it. It is a commitment.  After an hour or so, I feel more connected to whoever I have taken out and realize once again, how important it is to connect with each of them as an individual. To give them that time where there are no interruptions, no emergencies and nobody else but us!   Life is short and I don’t want to miss a thing!

Today was one of those days where God gave me the ability and strength to bring a ‘mothering moment’ to one of my chidlren. It is totally impossible to be there for each of my them,  every moment. To me, mothering moments impart love in those times where it is most needed. I love each of my children equally, with all my heart and more, but there are times where one will need all of my attention more than the others. And so, they receive it.

This week it has been Grace. My fourth born child, who until recently, didn’t stop grinning this huge, heart warming smile, touching all those around her with her capacity to love. She has so much love to give, it amazes me time and again. However, she has been struggling with a few issues like being intensely afraid at night. I just love her back to sleep, read God’s word with her, encourage her and then try to catch up on some sleep myself.

Last night, it seemed the heavens were turning from brass to a soft answer – literally. I was sitting with Grace as she was crying and really struggling. After settling her down,  I grabbed my laptop to keep busy and while reading facebook, saw a few people had posted about the Northern lights. Excitement started building in me thinking back to the conversation Grace and I had just had. I had told her about the way God holds the stars in the sky. I had explained how important it is that the ball of fire we call the sun is held in place by God just perfectly. How he displays his splendour in the sky daily and that He shows us His love by His glorious creation.    I got up and softly opened the blind and the sudden lit up night sky just gripped my senses. I wanted to shout, ” yay God, you are so creative and beautiful’ and it was then that I got Grace up out of bed. Together we put on coats ( yes, it is already too cold for us South Africans!!) and sleepily stood on the deck outside my house, facing the North. The lights danced around just showing off in a spectacular way. Grace was mesmorised by it and went to sleep peacefully after that.

Today, I had to head out to town and felt in my heart we needed to continute  our mothering moment. Before we went, Grace took a piece of tape and wrote on it, ‘ I love my mom.’  The whole afternoon as we walked in and out of the stores, I was met with smiles and chuckles when finally I looked down and noticed the strip of tape still stuck to the front of my shirt.  My little eight year old girl was so happy that I didn’t want the afternoon to end. 

These moments give us the spring in our step, the energy to keeps  going,helping us to truly do what God intended us do. To hang onto these times where we DO connect with our children. The teenage years bring new challenges and I find spending a day with one of my younger children, energising and fresh.

When Jesus said, ‘ let the little  children come unto me. ‘  I bet he loved having them around Him, reveling in the simplicity of their nature and enjoying there different personalities. It isn’t that he didn’t want the older children around. It’s just that young children give differnet things to the world.

So, for me, these mothering moments are the key to my parenting. I would love to say that I do this every day with each of them, but I don’t. I have come to peace that as a mother, I too am a person with my own needs and battles. But where I can, I will do whatever I can to keep the moments special and deep, and continue building a strong connection with each of my children – after all, they are our next generation and happy children make happy members of our society.

God bless our children!

So how is it that I used to intensely dislike cats and now I find myself loving one day and night. Yes, the stray cat that has been ours for five weeks finally stopped hiding her kittens today and good thing too, since fall will bring drifting leaves and low clouds waiting to explode with snow.

My husband has had a changed heart too, mainly because I was broken hearted when our ‘outdoor’ kitty went missing last year and I fear losing another kitten to hungry kyotes storing up food for winter.

I have to say that I am amazed at how he has just accepted my sudden love for cats. We married and pretty much agreed that we were happy to sail through life, cat free.

Seventeen wonderful years later and five special children I would think I am content enough to not want to fuss over cleaning kitty litter and training a kitten to leave my furniture alone. But I thank God He changes us every day, molding us and shaping us – if our hearts are open and pliable. I know my youngest has been praying every night for a cat since she could speak and I would gently say, ‘ one day sweetheart,in God’s timing,’ and nod my head to her as my mind thought, ‘never’. Well, God certainly answers the prayers of young ones and here we have our darling little kitty.

As to why my husband is so accepting of the kitty – maybe it’s his love for me? Yes, it is.But maybe it’s that he wants me to be pre-occupied in order to prepare our home for the upcoming rugby world cup that will take up a lot of his free time. Yes, I think I have hit the nail on the head.

Either way, we both win and life is good!

Hello all! I’ve just created a new web site and I’m glad you’ve come to visit. If you are seeing this on Facebook, be sure to click on the link http://www.enjoyinglifenews.com. Thanks!

I started the day by thanking God for the gift of life that He has granted me. After all, I enjoy luxuries that millions have never seen or tasted or experienced. I remember my mother doing  ministry work in a children’s hospital in South Africa, where we  lived. She was amazed by the reaction from the children as they tasted their first hot dog. She  waits ten hours for her government granted medication and passes time by taking marshmallows to the sick children. She has one of the kindest hearts I know. She would dig deep into the bottom of her wallet and use her last few rands to buy a packet, to bless these little ones with some sweetness. Mom would come home after waiting all those hours for medicine with tears  in her beaultiful brown eyes. Some of the very sick toddlers could barely hold the light sweet, and she would sit there holding it in their little mouths  for hours,  as they took baby bites.  

 Most days when I am tired of serving, tired of doing and can’t keep up with the whilrwind around me, I think of my mom and her serving heart. She never ceases to amaze me with her kindness and the way she just reflects the love of God so tangably, not in word but in action.

Today, I started the day on a good foot, but  ended on the wrong one. Which one I am not quiet sure, but it was somewhere between picking up spilt beads on the floor to sweeping up a broken plate, and then proceeding to ( with a smile on my face of course!)  toss the left over food into the garbage bin, only to have it land, kerplop, in my clean, fuzzy boot, and then standing in spilt water that had been knocked over. When it was knocked, I can’t say. Probably when I was cleaning something else up!  Oh well, all in days work.

How many days start well and end spiraling downhill when my smile fades into a slump, and I explain to a few of my children how one needs a good attitude. “After all, attitude  determines ones altitude, ‘ I mutter, my  lips struggling to smile.

Today was my official back to work day where I once again put on the hat of taxi driver. I love transporting my children through the beautiful country which I am privileged to now live. Being a motherly taxi driver has its pay off. I enjoy spending one on one time with each of my children and today, I was honoured to rush around finding a swimsuit for my oldest daughter, and then I ( with a smile of course ) rushed her to her swim teachers class. I then came home and again,  forced a smile on my exhausted face whilst I finished schooling, during which I had to once again, persuade my nine year old, that even if he wants to become a famous Royal Canadian mounty, he will in fact need spelling!    Some days everything seems forced, and I don’t think I am the only one who feels this way. Surely  I can’t be!!.  

Supper is the usual busy time in most households.My mom calls it ‘ pyrana  hour.’  Our’s is much the same as anybody’s. So- in- so wants this, and this one doesn’t want that.  I then ,remind them of  all the starving children in Africa who would loveto eat the food on their plate. I often receive wise remarks like, ” oh mom, can I give my food to them, right now,”  Another blue eyed beauty pops up with , “ yay, they can have my veggies.”   I know that wise answer can’t be original!!  One time my daughter looked at me with confusion all over her face, and innocently announced that she didn’t think there were poor people there, because after all,  we had food when we lived in there. I had to hold back from laughing and crying at her remark. Oh, the fragile innocence of a child. I know there are millions in our world who sleep with empty bellies, but those in my homeland seem to tug the most on my heart.

So… what am I trying to get at. Nothing, just venting my thoughts about my day and how much work there seems to be and how my attitude is far from pleasing to God. I also know that I am imperfect and only human.   I keep telling myself,  I am  blessed to have hands to work.

I hear people say they have nothing to do, or they are bored. Boy, what does that mean? Can I try it out? I have no idea.  I am busy, overworked and tired, but it is all in a days work and I would change nothing – well, maybe I’d include a few extra cups of tea and hot ones for sure.

Having said all that, I  love being a mom – it truly is a blessing!

I am officially on day nine of post-operative recovery from my hysterectomy.  As I have drifted in and out of sleep during the past few days, the word expectation, has wandered through my mind. Everybody has it, even if unaware. We expect that when we wake up at a certain time of day, we would have lost the night and embraced day light. We expect that the moon stays exactly where it was placed. We expect certain things from ourselves and those we love.

  I had many expectations from this hysterectomy. I expected to feel many things. I have to say that I thought it would be very similar to the five c.sections I had. Boy, was I wrong! It was different in so many ways – or maybe I have just become a big cry baby.

So many things went on that I did not expect. I also did not expect to be at day nine and only celebrating the victory of moving a little more without agony, now.   Nevertheless, I rejoice and thank God that I am healing. I did not expect staples and made sure all my kids got to have a look. Home schoolers find real life the best way to learn and I had to prove to my eldest daughter, that medical staples are never plastic. She had insisted on saying that they always were but was shocked when she saw the line of twelve staples, meticulously lined in my skin. I did not expect the morphine to barely touch sides with removing pain. I did not expect that there would be a 6 week to four-month recovery.

I have an extremely active mind and don’t enjoy being stagnant and non-creative – however, the fact that I am always expecting, makes being still a lot easier.

I expect to enjoy life and embrace  all the blessings that God has to offer. I can’t wait to throw myself into my new life when the post-recovery stage is over. I will run free like a horse smelling the sea air as it’s let loose.

One other thing I did not expect – none of us did. That was to be complaining about the constant pain that has been my companion, only to see the earthquakes  hand hitting  Japan. It transformed my pain into nothing. The pain was there, but my heart was so burdened and choked.  I am sure any person there trying to make sense of it all, would give anything to be in my shoes – pain and all. There are always those who have it tougher. Always those lonelier and always those who need help, love and reaching out to.

My expectation of tomorrow is to love those around me. To let my friends know how much I appreciate them and how I never could have made it through this without their support. I also expect the sun to show its face most days. When it hides, its okay – I know it is still there. Seasons are there for a reason. I still have yet to understand this crazy, long Canadian winter. However, we are standing and have not been hit by any earthquake or devastation.

Lets remember those in the world that have it rougher and harder, whilst thanking God for our blessings and continuing to have great expectations for our futures.

In spite of the scary,chaotic,unstable world we live in – life is good!

It has been a while since I have entered anything on my blog. I guess I have been busy living, laughing and loving the people I have been blessed with. Some days, the blessing is at the end of the day, when I walk into one of my children’s bedroom and stand at the door. Their breathing is relaxed and easy.Their thoughts uncomplicated and simple.  I often wonder what they are dreaming. I know I have many dreams and much living to still be had. I look forward to the future with anticipation.

I came home from my pre-admission at the grey nuns hospital with a little bracelet. In South Africa, where I have had most surgeries of the past, they only put this plastic ring on your arm the day you go in. I was a little shocked at their enthusiasm of having me wear it for over a week before the surgery. I know my name! I know what blood type I am – why the early bracelet?. I guess their timing is just that – their timing and I have to accept it.  Much like some of the things that come our way in this world. We accept it with a knowing, that acceptance makes the life a little easier. It makes the disappointments lighter and the good days become brighter.

It is now exactly seven more sleeps until I will be sleeping unaware as the  doctors remove many different parts. I will awaken without a uterus, ovaries and a few other things missing. I will still be whole. I am God’s child and a princess of His. He loves every person on earth and yet, I can feel and know that  he is counting down with me. In fact, He is already there. He has seen the precision of the doctors steady hand. He has felt the pain I may feel. Why does He allow pain? I guess I don’t know, but I know He would rather I have none of it.  I accept that He knows what He is doing and I am embracing life, in spite of the reminder on my wrist of the difficulty weeks ahead.  I know what to expect, having had five c.sections. The nurse looked at me two days ago with a knowing, she knew that I knew, exactly what pain will come my way.  I can smile because there are many days of pure enjoyment , coming my way. The future is bright. Spring is in the air – somewhere!  Emails and care from friends and family make times of tribulation an easier walk in the park. I am blessed.

Life is ultimately designed to be enjoyed and slowly savoured.  Tough times make one appreciate the smooth seasons of this journey called  life. A friend of mine has a plaque that says, ” Life is not just about the destination, enjoy the journey.” I want to endure the lumps and bumps of life and climb the mountains. When reaching the top I want to shout out a victory chant! Mountains can be climbed. Valleys can be waded through. 

 I am determined to enjoy the journey of life!

This is the love of my life.  I met him twenty years ago and well, you know the usual story….. boy meets girl, girl meets boy and they fall in love. Falling love is easier than staying in love, but it is Valentines Day, so I will try not to venture onto that topic too much.

He is the total opposite of me. I am a chatterbox who needs a volume down control. He is a gentle and  quiet but strong.  He  often needs a volume up control. I am like a rollercoaster, constantly up and down. He is stable and constant. Either way, we compliment each other – at least most of the time!

Today, being valentines day,  I found a Valentine card tucked in my closed  laptop. To me, that is romantic. What is even more romantic is that we don’t take being each others valentine for granted. Each and every year, I try to ask him to be my valentine and he does the same. Being married for sixteen years doesn’t guarantee anything. It is easy to grow apart and suddenly there is a major amount of work to be done. It is simply easier to take the time each day, even small fragments of time, and do the maintenance. Who said there wouldn’t be work?

 Whilst reading the words on his card to me, I realized that my card to him has the same theme. ” I love you. We have been through many hard times and often thought our love wasn’t going to hold through those times. But, it has and I am glad.”That is the basic thought to it. I started thinking about all the times I have moaned and not seen through God’s eyes, the things that he does for me. It is so easy to live with tinted glasses on and see the bad. 

I love my hubby so much, but, and there is a but, there have been times where I would have loved to make him sleep on the couch, without even a pillow. Many times we have lost it with each other. There are times when the romance is high and times when it is non-existent.  I see that love is not enough. Love just doesn’t always cut it, but, commitment does. For me, ‘the feeling of love’ is like the tides of the ocean – sometimes high, sometimes low. There does though, have to be constant commitment for success.

Life’s challenges have sometimes brought us closer and sometimes put a huge wall between us. It is the tough times that we need each other and should refuse to build walls. I want to be a bridge builder and not a wall builder.  I thank God that with hard work and commitment – marriage can be wonderful.  There is no such thing as a heavenly marriage, although it can have a heavenly feel to it,  whilst being  maintained on earth. I think every day should be Valentines Day!

 What can you do today to show your valentine, that you are committed through the highs and the lows? 

A blessed Valentines day to everybody out there! 

Sometimes a mother of a few children often feel stuck in the world of nursery rhymes and cartoon characters.  This week I was driving to yet another surgeon/specialist appointment and I felt an overwhelming sense of failure and frustration. Dealing with long-term illness brings so many different emotions. 

For those of us who are woman, we know that we have a certain time of the month where we have cravings for certain food groups. Most of us have a craving for any food where sugar is first on the list of ingredients.  I have been avoiding the ‘ch’ word or trying to avoid it and I have had a small smidgen of the good ‘ol brown,sweet stuff – but not enough to bring true satisfaction. Why is it that it is on a womans top ‘need’ food during that ‘time’ of the month?

This week I realized that I was now in my fourth month of having, ‘that time of the month’ and even though ‘that time’ will never greet me again after the hysterectomy, I had a sudden desperation for sweet,creamy,satisfying chocolate! Yes, I have tried dairy- free dark chocolate, but I have to say that it holds off the need for the  real stuff  for only so long.When  I eat dark chocolate ( my scale only gives me permission to have it in small amounts and I am okay with that),I often want to sprinkle sugar on it. Usually, the not so bitter dark chocolate has a tiny bit of milk in it to take away that bitter!     

Whilst driving up Whyte Ave towards the University hospital, I felt like the little train in the children’s book saying ‘ I think I can, I think I can.’  I was driving slowly and trying to dodge any ice I could see on the road, when I stopped at the light and did what I usually do, looked around the car.  There on my right, was the sign, ‘Death by chocolate.’  It hit me clear in the face.  With my heart racing, I continued to drive  somewhat faster. The sooner I reached my appointment, the sooner I would be on my way home and the chocolate would be easily accessible  on the  right hand side of the road.

I had an okay visit with the very caring  British doctor, but my mind was on the chocolate.  I very calmly walked out of the building finding relief at seeing I had not run out of time on the parking ticket.  I know it sounds so childish but I was highly excited to drive back down Whyte Ave!

This would be wonderful and easy. I would not have any of my family members there to remind me of how I would feel after the taste of sweetness has left my mouth.  Maybe I could even catch a small nap somewhere ( my conscience was at work as I know how quickly I am fatigued after a small bit of dairy).

I was about a two blocks away from the Death by Chocolate shop when another red light caught me and I came to a steady stop. There on my left  was another store/shop which reminded me of my duty to eat right, not only for my family but for myself! ‘Do or Dye’ – a hair salon, was shining its smile in my direction and I got the message. My God is so not quick to anger. How grateful I am for the signs and reminders he sends along my way – all because of His constant love and patience. I was saddened by  how quickly I forget the gifts I have been given.  I want to be around to enjoy all my blessings in life and although we don’t hold the power of life ind death in our own hands, we do have some decision in it!  

The ‘Do or Dye’ hair salon nudged me into action and so, I tried to put blinkers on and drove right past the store. It just wasn’t worth it. Sadly, I have those temptations all through the day. It seems that most of what I am craving either has the dreaded gluten/flour or the dairy of some sort.  Focusing on what we do have in life or what we can eat, rather than what we don’t have or can’t eat, seems a constant struggle, and I know I am not the only one who struggles.

So, with a clear conscience and a prayer of thanks on my chocolate free lips, I drove home with a sense of victory.

I went from, ‘I think I can, to, I know I can.’   It felt good and even though I know it is a lifelong struggle, I overcame a small temptation – even if just for that day!